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Mediation     

helping you to manage, resolve & transform conflicts

Conflict is inevitable - a normal fact of life. 

Managed right, it can be a source of growth, learning and progress.

 

 

My name is Thomas Riedmuller.                   

Since 1985 I've been working in different areas of communication, as a language interpreter,

a journalist and a mediator)

Since 2001 I've been working with individuals, families, communities and organisations across

different industries and countries including Ireland, Germany, Spain, France and several

Latin American countries. The patterns and dynamics of human conflict and their transformation

are very similar in ourselves (thoughts and attitudes), between people, inside groups (conflicting roles), and between groups.

 

Many people in business believe that you need to know the industry inside out in order to be an effective consultant.

However, when it comes to dealing with interpersonal conflicts we are primarily human beings. How we deal with criticism,

how we react to difference and conflict, our attitudes to authority, how communication works or fails is less dependant on the environment or industry you work in. It has more to do with your development as a person. 

When conflicts are mainly caused by ineffective structures and a lack of processes or policies (or their implementation), knowledge of HR processes and employment law is also important. 

 

Ways of dealing with conflicts can be effective or dysfunctional.

 

Some dysfunctional patterns in our culture:

 

  • avoid it and hope it will go away (it rarely does, but often festers and gets harder to deal with later)

  • attach blame (if I'm hurting, it must be somebody else's fault)

  • defensiveness and other ways of avoiding our responsibility (It wasn't my fault! I had to ...)

  • accusing, threatening, intimidating - counterattack as a defense or protection (this guy is a bully, I'd better get him first)

  • give in 'for peace's sake' (whilst harbouring resentment...to be 'unbottled' later)

  • add your own:.............

 

Effective ways of dealing with conflict include: 

 

  • eliminating blame by recognising our choices and taking responsibility for our own life - emotions, thoughts, and behaviour

  • active listening - a skill that seems easy but takes considerable practice to master

  • developing clarity and integrity of thought which leads to clarity of speech

  • other effective communication techniques such as paraphrasing, re-framing, and the art of asking powerful questions

  • giving empathy - not sympathy - temporarily seeing and feeling life from the 'opponent's' perspective

  • sharing observations whilst suspending judgement

  • nurturing awareness of needs - our own and those of other people - and negotiating between conflicting needs

  • finding support for positive beliefs and 'can do' attitudes which lead to high self-esteem (a requirement for recognising worth in others)

  • meditation - nurturing stillness, mindfulness and accessing guidance from within

  • processes for conflict resolution such as restorative circles, collaborative practice, and mediation.

 

Benefits of mediation

  • Provides an opportunity to reflect, listen and explore in a safe environment.

  • Helps you gain insights and loose your sense of helplessness and victimhood.

  • Empowers you successfully connect with others who you perceive to be your opponents.

  • Enables you to access mindful communication and work towards the best decisions you are capable of finding.

  • nable us to successfully connect with others

stop depending on others to change but instead to look inward to reflect on and reconsider our own perspective and response to our difficulty.

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